Saturday, November 1, 2014

Others have opinions on my goal weight!

My weight had gone up after last weekend rather suddenly, but I am back down most of that ... now I know that was monthly water weight. There's been no further drop just yet; hopefully in another couple days. I have got in lots of workouts, including two big walks about an hour and 20 minutes each, plus some WATP with jogging as my warmup before strength training. I plan to stay strict Phase 1 for as long as it takes to get well into the 70s ... at 79 kilos (about 174 pounds) I'll officially be overweight rather than obese, which would be lovely. That'll be my next big Milestone.

I've had interesting reactions from others when I talk about my goal weight. I'm just barely 5'4" tall and set my initial goal for 68 kg (150 lbs) ... still overweight but it seemed so far off at the time that I thought it a reasonable goal, and I'll be so much healthier there than I was at 130 kg (287 lbs). The charts would probably want me closer to 58 kg (128 lbs) or even less, but really it's going to be about where I not only feel best but can comfortably maintain. You would be surprised how often people seem surprised that I'm not happy where I am. They often tell me I don't need to lose any more. The interesting part is those who are trim, fit and healthy weights themselves tend to think my goal is reasonable, while those who are overweight themselves (not necessarily a lot) tend to think I have lost enough now. I can't decide if it's because:
  • they are so used to seeing me much larger that I seem a normal weight now, or
  • most people are overweight so that seems normal now, or
  • on a subconscious level they don't want me to weigh less than they do.
It may be a bit of each. I wonder if they think my saying I need to lose weight implies that they do, too. I didn't think much about it at first but there have been a lot of similar reactions lately when I say I have at least 15 kg (33 lbs) to go. They think I'm fine where I am.

Those of you at goal, did you experience this as you were in the latter part of your weight loss? Just curious.

10 comments:

  1. Your goal of 68 kilos is not too low! I'm not sure why people say this but I think you should decide where you feel right. In my case, I simply stopped losing any more weight, my body decided for me. Sure I might have been able to push for more but I felt OK where I got to... not so now - I've gained a kilos or two and that's not the direction I want to go :)

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    1. Thanks Lynda ... truth is anywhere in the 70s sounds so much better than 130, but I am still bouncing between 81 and 83 and I don't feel or look the way I want, so I know I'm not done. I'm not sure why people feel the need to comment on when I should be satisfied, but they do. I think it's mostly that they have only ever known me obese

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  2. Trust me, it's jealousy. That's why those at a fit weight can see you losing more, and it's mostly/only those still heavier than you that want you to stop. Shame on them. Do your best to get to that healthy BMI #. My only caveat is that if you start to feel like you are heading into what I call 'deprivation zone', be very cautious. That was always my downfall in the past, and I'm guarding carefully against it now. I'd love to be 115 (at barely 5 ft. 2 in.), but my body won't go below 125-126, and I'm accepting that. (although I sit at low 130's now.) So I'd just caution against THAT mindset, but keep on doing what you need to do, and see where your body takes you. :)

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    1. Thanks Gwen, good advice. That's why I'm going to leave the goal at 68kg for now and see where I go from there. My body might find its own preferred weight and if it's easy to stay there and not have to enter that "depravation zone" to stay there, then that's where I'll stay. I'm not after perfection, just my own personal healthy weight. Clearly it will be better than where I started. :)

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  3. It's down to what feels right for you ....and I think you're doing well.

    All the best Jan

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  4. Just my twopennorth...
    I think the right goal is whatever YOU think it should be (and that may change over time - mine did), and whatever your body is happy to maintain without, as Gwen mentioned, you feeling or being 'deprived'.
    As to the 'oooh, you mustn't lose any more crowd' - yep, I had that too (and still do sometimes) and I'd certainly say there's probably an element of jealousy buried in there someplace, but the ONLY person who matters in this is YOU... and you are doing brilliantly!
    These days, anyone who voices an opinion about my weight loss and tells me that 'you don't want to get too skinny' is gently shown a picture of where I started from and given a verbal a list of the health problems I had then, which are now mostly history. Bless 'em, they don't tend to do it twice.

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    1. Deniz, I like your strategy, I may have to try that. Thanks. :)

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  5. Hi Anna - I get that same crap all the time. I've actually gained back 30 pounds from my low at about 187. Now some of it is muscle, because I can lift and carry and climb much better than I could at my low weight. But most of it is belly fat. I have to be honest.

    Anyway...there is a lot of obesity on my side of the family. I just got back from a trip to see family members and complete an obstacle race. Standing next to most of my family members I look small at 6 foot and 217 pounds. The men in the family that did not participate in the race are all 75 to 100 pounds and up heavier than me. When I mentioned that I wanted to get back down to the 180's again...you would have thought I said I wanted cancer.

    Oh no...don't do that. You look just fine. You were too thin before, but we didn't want to say anything negative. And I'm thinking to myself...oh, so you're not saying anything negative now, you are being supportive?

    You have to find a weight that you and your body are comfortable with and do what makes you the happiest. Your opinion is the one that matters most! You are doing terrific!

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    1. Thanks Marcus, I don't know which bothers me more ... the ones that want me to stay where I am, or the ones who freely tell me what they thought of how I used to look ... "Man your ass was huge!" Someone said things like that to me years ago when I lost a lot of weight and then I regained it. I then knew they thought my ass was huge again. Lol. Can't they just say you look great and leave out the negativity?

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Sorry anonymous commenters, but you'll have to prove you're not a robot because the spammers were driving me crazy! They never get through yet they were persistent!