Sorry I haven't posted an update in a while. I knew my weight would go up last week and I've really grown tired of the monthly weight gain. I didn't see any point in posting 'yes I'm up again as expected' and bumming out about that when there are so many worse things going on in the world. The shooting down of a passenger plane that flew over a war zone for some unknown reason really shook me up. There were 38 Australian passengers on that plane, two who were retired school teachers that lived nearby for whom the local community has had a public memorial in tribute. The story of the family who lost three children and their grandfather has broken my heart, and of course all the other victims and their loved ones who are suffering right now. My weight struggles are trivial in comparison.
But my journey must continue, so now that the water weight has passed, I'm here to give you an update. At 50 and having PCOS I should hope that my cycle would start tapering off but it appears mother nature has other ideas. But I'm happy to report I've had a drop this week, coming in at 85.6 kg (188.72 lb) which is a loss of 0.6 kg (1.32 lb) since I checked in twelve days ago, and it brings my total loss to 44.7 kg (98.55 lb). I gotta say, I am sick of the ups and downs, but at least I am moving (creeping slowly) towards the 100 pound mark. And I'm in the 180s now which is fabulous!
Having grown frustrated with the slow progress I started checking out fitness centres in town late last week to see what they offer and get pricing options. Maybe I need to shake things up a bit. At the very least, I could get some advice. I had joined a training studio a few years ago when I was still eating a vegan diet and it didn't product the results I'd hoped. I know that could very well have had to do with the diet, as it was rather carb heavy. When I went there it consisted of group classes 2-3 times a week and was costing me about $100 per month. You could pay extra for one-on-one training, but I didn't. So I already knew what they were about, and I've belonged to Curves in the past as well.
So I decided to stop in and check out a place closer to home called Anytime Fitness. Yup, it's a 24 hour gym so you get a key card that lets you in at any time. They showed me around the place which was basically a lot of equipment and tons of big, burly guys around doing their thing. No classes, they just show you how to use the stuff and leave you to it. Not for me. I know I would need more guidance than that. Oh, and they had a room upstairs where you could do video workouts. Seriously? I can do those at home, and on my schedule. Anyway, it would have cost about $80 a week.
Then earlier this week I went to Vision Personal Training to see what they were about. The lady I met with was nice and I talked to her for about an hour - she was very impressed with how far I've come and asked a lot of questions about what I've been eating, what kinds of workouts I've been doing so far, etc. She was impressed I'd put myself through the C25K and said she could see it in my face how proud of myself I was for that. There were also times she asked about my goals and what I really wanted from this and I teared up a bit because I really didn't know. I've spent all my life feeling rather unworthy, which is one of the reasons I wanted to try running. Just to prove to myself I could do it. But I didn't love running. I mostly didn't want to stall and go back up as I've done several times before. I've spent my life trying to lose weight and I didn't want to give up this time.
She said firstly that the reason I've stalled lately was likely because I've lost muscle and bone as well as fat. Muscle keeps your metabolism high. The exercises I've been doing, while excellent cardio for my heart and lungs, were doing nothing to build muscle. So I need to do strength training. Then she asked if I could see myself eating this way forever, or if there were foods I really missed that would likely come back into my diet at some point. I told her honestly that I could see transitioning to something similar to a low carb or primal diet but that I didn't want to worry about someone else's rules (e.g. no potatoes) but rather find what worked for me and just eat naturally and intuitively without counting, weighing, measuring etc. I miss sweet potatoes, and once I hit goal I'd like to have those again and maybe even occasional oats or rice if they didn't cause any issues for me, but that wheat and sugar (bread, cakes, cookies and junk) would likely never come back into my diet. She seemed pleased with that. She thought I needed to stop stressing about seeing a certain number on the scale and felt that maybe I needed to use measurements or how my clothes fit to measure my progress.
Then she told me about their program and what they could do for me. They appoint you your own personal trainer who helps you determine your goal, whether that's a certain weight or size, or training for something specific (she could get me to love running if that's what I wanted). Then they devise an eating and exercise plan for you to reach those goals in a predetermined time. You work with that trainer at least twice a week, but you are given exercises to do on other days when you come in for group sessions or even to workout by yourself. Their results are guaranteed.
She also said the diet I'm following was darn near exactly what they would recommend, so there would be minimal tweaks required there. Basically she wanted to see me eating a bit more fat and even carbs, especially after a workout. But otherwise what I was eating was pretty well right on, which was good to hear. We talked for a long time, I really felt good when I left except for one thing. Being as they work so closely with you and guarantee their results, it's not cheap. They would want a joining fee of $199, and thereafter $130 a week (or $260 auto deduction every fortnight), for a minimum period of six months. Wow. I said that would be tough and she said that she could let me sign up for 18 weeks minimum if that helped. That's pretty much 4 months, so not a huge difference. The only alternative is if you're willing to pay the entire fee up front, then you can sign up for just 9 weeks. After that you can do it again to renew for 9 weeks, or transition onto the 18 week or six month plan. My heart sank. Seriously this sounded SO good and absolutely perfect for me, but I can't swing it financially right now. I was really bummed out.
The next morning I got up and had a drop, and that's where I still am today at 85.6kg (188.72 lb). I took that as a sign. Yes, this would be lovely, and in another year or so I'll be in a better position where I could even afford it. But that drop told me that I will get there if I just keep doing what I'm doing and maybe try to add some strength training on my own. I don't have weight training equipment at home (other than a few dumbbells) but I do have a couple of workout videos that focus on strength training. I could start there for now, or maybe think about joining Curves again, but either way I'm going to keep moving forward. This is my life now, there is no turning back.